sometimes, i have so many thoughts on my mind that when i want to blog them, they all float away...
but seriosuly, sometimes i feel that i think too much...i reflect alot...haha...on the way to school, on the way back home..in the car with parents, even when i watch TV, my thoughts drift away..
but when i blog, i dunno where all the thoughts fly and i cant seem to catch ALL of them..hmmm...
so for now, its empty..let me think..hahah
well, its been almost one week since I've checked my mail and stuff...been exhausted entirely and seriously I think I can almost hear my body groan for rest..feel like some old woman with arthritis coz i have muscle aches here and there and i keep having pulls in my back and neck area...haha....i have the body of a 60 year old! LOL
i aint so sure abt my brain either..hahah
valentines day is in 2 days time and i feel kinda sad that i cant meet my best frens..
yes, i miss u guys like nuts-vaishnavi, vithiiya and a whoe lot of other pple....:(
and i dun have anyone else special to spend with either..haha..ok, maybe thats actually a blessing..LOL.
so lame rite? i hhave parents next to me to love but i look for other pple...
i was telling someone that day that my mind is very rational and practical..but my heart is very strong-willed...so even when i know somehting causes me pain frm past experience, my heart always drives me to do it again...and its no point pple advicing me coz i alrdy know...
theres always been an inner struggle within me...and i think it happens for everyone-between the mind and the heart..
and recently my heart's been yearning for the stage-to recieve the adrenaline rush that i get when i go on stage to perform...and i know this shdnt be my priority coz its not like as if i am getting As or something...
yep..so sometimes i really wish my heart wldnt want so much...
and i always want to be out of the ordinary-unique...why?
coz i hate it that pple sometimes underestimate me...they look at me and they see a chubby, gullible and perhaps very ordindary gurl..someone who doesnt seem worth paying attention to..and thats when i want to shock them! haha...i want to show them who i am-that i aint a pushover, that i aint quiet, that i actually can do alot of stuff, that i aint a nerd..BLA BLA...
coz sumtimes pple dun really pay attention to me when i talk..even within relatives..they think i am the still the small, innocent, super obedient gurl who dusnt really have anything much to say..
WRONNG! just becoz i am quiet dusnt mean i dun have opinions..i just think that theres a time and place to say stuff...and i dun want to waste my breath and saliva if everybody else is talking and nobody is listening..why do i want to add into the din?
but i have ALOT of opinions-even political..haha...
so i think i shd suprise myself now-by doing really well...yea..and do something really different...
but i am thankful that my parents listne me out..haha...if not i might just go mad..ahah...
mann! i think rite..i am just waiting for something exciting to happen in my life...dunno wat it is but i am WAITING..
hahah...and this is when my mind goes blank...
