I found a route! LOL...shd i go?!hmm.....

I am glad tht I did do some productive things today..haah..

But I still want a job and I am contemplating going all the way to Bt Timah for a $4 hr job...looks like the money might be spent on transport itself..haha

Why i shd go?

1) I think its fun and therapeutic
2) Its only until CNY
3) Something is better than nothing
4) I dont need to go thru interview and all that kinda thing
5) I will have my friend there

Why I shldnt?

1) Its so far! transport costs and time factor!
2) The pay is low..

OH LORD, if only I cld create my own complicated but short route to BT TIMAH..hmm..maybe I can

Yvonne's gonna be aunty and go sbstransit.com.sg..ahah

I really need a job..

coz i feel completely unproductive staying at home and wasting my time away and eating but not burning the energy..haha

somehow or rather all my other friends have gotten a job..yep..so that adds to my guilt.

But I did try and its partly because I have constraints. I can only work for 1 month because of the STEP program in church that starts on the 23rd Feb.
That explains why I can't commit to most jobs.
+ I have no experience
+ I dont know Chinese

and I have been searching jobsites randomly applying for jobs although I know my measly 'resume' will not survive..But one can hope rite..ahah..at least I am trying

Anyways, besides all the job searching I managed to meet my bestIe Vaishnavi yesterday!

hAHA..and oh my, shes such a splitting image of her mother and she looks really pretty. I looked like a seriously overgrown kid next to her..ahah..GROSSLY OVERGROWN..
we talked about alot of stuff and always abt the fact that our mothers are SO SIMILAR and get angry at the next stuff..
and she was telling of how she planned not to get married or get married and not have children..LOL..I am more of a typical and wld rather opt for the family life...she said she wld want my children to call her '' aunty vaishnavi''...haha
BUT SHE HAS TO EAT HER WORDS ONE DAY WHEN SHE MEETS THE RIGHT ONE AND NOTHING ELSE MATTERS..muahahah..

I never really thought so far but she has plans of retirement and travelling and living on an island. Even my cousin in Malaysia has plans abt retirement..

WHAT ABT ME?
lol..nothing..i dont even know what I want to do in university..and I am scared to make plans because I dont know what HIS plan is for me..what if it doesn't coincide? Then its gonna be an uphill task for me to let go of it..But there are some things that I want to do...some in the near future and some further aaway in time:-

1)Learn to play the piano..ya, i am that pathethic..I havent learn music..the only thing I know is the names of the black and white keys..haha

2)I want to act on stage..ahah.I have acted in school stuff but I think drama is a thing you can never get enough of. I have horrible stage fright but its a great adrenaline rush when I know that all eyes are on me..and its so cool because you get to be SOMEONE ELSE! no longer my boring self..ahah

3) I want to cut my own record or a single or sing somewhere( not that I am that great a singer)..haha...this is seriously far far far away frm reach but I wld like to find my own style in singing..haha.some pple sing airily and gently, some sing strong and sopranoish.I dont know how I wld sound in a CD..LOL..I doubt this will ever happen though..

4) I want to work with the poor and needy..in Africa, Indonesia, India-anywhere where they need people...Educate the young, provide medical service..I don't really know but I want to do whatever I can..

5) Besides acting, I also want to stage a play..haha..write my own script and create my own costumes..decide lighting and all the other stage stuff..ahah..this is prob gonna be highly impossible too..

6)I want to bring my family on a European tour at my expense-me, my mum and dad, and my bro and family if he is married by that time( I can't wait to have my own nieces and nephews!!!!:P)

7)I want to design clothes! I can't sew but I like to visualize clothes in my head and draw them out.

8) I want to go in a hot air balloon..Though I am really scared of heights, I think it wld be kinda fun..and the balloon better be colourful..

9) I want to finish reading the whole bible! haha..this is highly achievable within this year but I have to perrsevere.

10) Oh. Everyone has heard me say this at least a million times and I have never succeeded! LOL...coz i suck at consistency. DUH! I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT! lol..like alot and look like a total different person!

ya..so 10 things that I want to do.I probably embarassed myself with this post..don't laugh at me k..everyone has their childish whims:)

these are things that I want to do but there are so much more that I want to be..its different..there are some characteristics that I dont like in mysel and my personality has to change so that what I do would be fruitful..and that is gonna take a whole mountain of effort..so that wld be my foremost priority because I believe that a person's personality and mindset influences everything he or she does..

I finally did what I meant to do!

There is still alot to do with my blog, but for now, I am quite satisfied..it looks a whole lot better than it did previously but it can do with improvement.

I gotta give a reply abt the Mission Trip tmrw..and I havent really made my mind up yet..
I think that I am still kinda immature and my parents are not convinced abt me being ready.
But the fact is that I am 19 this year, and its time I broadened my perespective and maybe this trip can be that thing that manages to shake me out of my closed-up reality and push me to another level of maturity.
Its probably gonna take mental, spiritual and PHYSICAL STRENGTH.
And I think I am currently incapable of heavy physical activity. Its not that I won't do it. I will try but I dont want to be a liability and slow others down.
Its just like a debate,

back and forth
to and against

Coz doing this prob means that I wldn't get to work and I have no idea how I am gonna raise funds for the mission trip.

I really need to hear a ''GO FOR IT'' from God right now. He probably thinks I shld grow up.HAHA. I want to go but my parents need to be convinced as well.

Ok, enough of that. I thought I shld blog abt something thats been happening beyond my own small world. Something that has affected people on a much larger and devastating scale-the Haiti earthquake.

No offence, but I have never heard of that place and so the first thing I wanted to know was where it actually is.
Haiti is essentially a Caribbean country around the Mexico area. And all of a sudden, you see Haiti everywhere along with shocking images of pple crushed under the ruins of buildings that collapsed due to the 7.0 magnitude earthquake on the 12th.

Its really jolting to see all the images of children and adults alike hurt and dead. I don't think anyone of those victims wld have ever guessed that they were going to die on that very day when they woke up. But death came and it swept in the thousands. No warning at all.
Its really terrible but I think my generation has been immunized by the many deaths and natural disasters we have had to witness in the past decade. And so, we think to ourselves that life has to go on.
Yes, it does  but nothing guarantees that we have a better chance at keeping it compared to anyone else in the world.

So what I am saying is that we really shldn't take our lives for granted. Death may seem to be the easy way out of problems, sufferings, difficulties but it IS a PRIVILEDGE to keep on living. Why shld we waste it away doing worthless and pointless things?

OHMYGDNESS....I JUST CONVINCED MYSELF...I  know what I want to do and I had no idea it wld come to this but it has.