a tribute not to 2009, but those who were in it with me

wow..its the last day of the year alrdy! 09 is soon over...

this year has been REALLY fast and filled with challenges but I really thank God for His grace and mercy that has brought me through it all as always...

I also thank God for the friends and family He has put in my life, sticking with me through thick and thin...

He has definitely made the impossible possible in my life and even as I face 2010 which is gonna be a year closer to adulthood, I am apprehensive but I know I wldn't be entirely alone:)

So to everyone who was in my life in 2009:

THANK YOU SO MUCH EVEN IF YOU WERE ONE OF THOSE PPLE I DON'T LIKE- YOU HELPED TO MOULD ME..HAHAHA..AND TO THOSE I LOVE, I REALLY HOPE IN 2010, THAT I CAN BLESS YOU THE WAY YOU HAVE BLESSED ME:)

this year....

wowwhee..it has been abt 6 months since i blogged..hahah
and the year is drawing to a close..so i think i shd just spend these last few posts of the year on reminiscing on some nice and not so nice stuff...but theres so much that I don't know where to start..sighs..

anyways, i shall start with yesterday..

Ammachi and the whole Malaysia gang came for a 'surprise' visit and caught us Singaporeans off guard...and after a long time, they finally saw my brother..the last time they all saw him was abt 10+ years ago i think..and so after the usual ''oh..so handsome'' and all that, my brother who had no particular conversation topic started to tease me at the lunch table at the restaurant we were at...oh dear..but its fine..i am SO used to it..hahah...and it dudnt really hurt when its frm your own brother..

anyways, i was supposed to direct two cars back home and i kinda went the correct route although i thought i ws wrong and panicked( i gotta learn to trust my instincts)...we made a wrong turn and i was like encouragin them to make illegal turns..haha...ohmy..dont know wat kind of driver i am going to turn out like..ahah

anyways, we made home(No, we didnt go all the way to mandai) in one piece and there were like 15 people in our hse..haha...SO FUN!..and everyone was gushing ovr Rover who finally managed to get some attention..ahahha..and as ashvini akka said, everyone decided to bless our toilets..haha

so they left arnd 8+ and my brother has made his uncle and aunty so proud..LOL..i think they were surprised..I am not..lol...he's my brother after all..haha

i have been looking through photos today..of graduation and jc 1 days and to think that 2 years have flown by SO SUPER DUPER QUICKLY! if u told me, that i wld grow to love my class and all that last year, i wld never have believed you..but today, i can say that I do and I miss each and every individual...we're meeting up tmrw and I can't wait to see everyone out of nerd mode( which is pretty much what they've been)..hahah

to tell the truth, currently I'm just trying to shake off my mind some things that have been happening..

people who know me, know that I am a person who is very easily emotionally disturbed...ya, i am sensitive..and this year, I've realised what a bother it can be to me...being this way..i hate that part of me sometimes..coz it puts me in all the unnecessary pain while the ones who caused it, get to go scot-free with no bearing on their conscience..
and so this year, i have to say I have asked many questions to God..more than I normally do..in actual fact, I used to be VERY unquestioning with God..

but things got harder, esp emotionally, and the same cycles recurring..and that meant i wasn't learning..i asked God, ''why me?' why not he or she? why do they get to get away with what they do but i have to bear all the consequences?''

today, i know for sure its because He loves me..tough love I wld say..haha...but there have been gentle moments too..and very patient ones when I realise that it wldnt take long for Him to stop giving me chances...but He's been good and the GENTLEST anyone cld EVER been with me..haha...
but i have totally been like a child throwing tantrums and bawling away..not being able to make any progress..stagnant..which is SO SCARY! hahah..

oh G0d..help me please..i want to shake off this attitude that so easily takes offences, that's so judgemental, insecure.... i so don't want to enter 2010 with this..its time i finally GREW UP...

i have definitely done things this year, that I've never done before..out of my comfort zone...praying hard to God for success..and God has blessed me with it and many more gifts..
but i feel put into a mould and pple have a certain impression of me but I'm not that way...i want to break out..i think there's more that I can do but pple dun give me the opportunity..sighs...

i need CHALLENGE, not just emotionally but with the abilities I have..hahah...i can't believe i just typed that out..LOL...maybe its staring at me in my face and I've been ignorant and oblivious...