ok..its a fact..i kinda blog wen i am depressed..haha

yup, so u know this entry's not gonna be too cheery either..haha..

today, i was supposed to go out in the evening to Serangoon Rd...but the plan was postponed..

i got kinda pissed but kept quiet until my mother said something abt it which triggered me...
i also said wat i thot(we werent arguing)..but my mum took wat i said personally and started reprimanding me..coz according to her i was wrong..and she didnt wanna talk to me..

ok ok fine, i am wrong! i am always wrong..somehow or another...but wasnt wat i said true?

then i get picked on at home...seriously, that sucks...
i try to be happy but pple love to do things that make me feel miserable...just because u feel miserable, u dun have to do that to others as well u know...

i am officially pissed! Oh God, anything to cheer me up pls..

I am so sorry abt me and my mouth..I am just a very opinionated perosn..and I dun think age or relation is an excuse for pple to do watever they want..but the point is nobodys gonna bother and I shd just learn to stop bothering abt that...

So wat if I remain fat? Get over it!

haha..i just cried...

dunno why..sumthing that sumbody said triggered and the tap opened...haha

my mum says its because i am tired...thats probably true..cuz she knows me best.....and sumone else also said that they felt like crying too..

but....a person can ask abt SO many things-studies, health,

but No!..they have to ask abt my weight...

seriously, does my weight define who I am? is the first thing u think wen u see me is that I am fat?

and pple wonder I keep on calling myself fat..haha...do u know its such a horrible nightmare ur life can become just because you are fat!?

pple label u, they make fun-even those who are supposed to love u...

its just so horrible! and sumtimes i feel like slapping myself for not losing weight at a younger age.....:(

i really really dunno wat to say....at least, in heaven i wont have to go thru this..

i mean wont u accept me if i dun lose weight? will i become ugly to u?

I JUST WANNA TELL ALL THOSE WHO LOOK DOWN ON THE BIGGER-SIZED:

We are all humans..NOBODY has the right to look down onsumone else...u might not like the person but that dusnt give u the rite to say watever u want..fat pple also have emotions.

this isnt the first time..i have heard pple say they hate me coz i am fat...haha..that is SO JUVENILE AND LAME!

u know wat, if I am fat so wat?

its NONE of ur business...I dont need you to give me any recgonition..God is the only one who can judge me....

those who really know me know that just BEYOND being fat, i am many other things.

and only time can tell if things can change...u cant guarantee that u will stay the same forever..i mean what kind of person places value and trust on their physical outward appearance?

GOD LOVES ME...AND IF U DUN WANT TO LOVE ME, HE WILL BRING OTHERS TO LOVE ME...I TRUST FULLY IN HIM

its SO hard..but i know He will bring me through and make me a stronger person..He will build my confidence not based on how I look at myself or how others look at me but how He looks at me....

SO, BUZZ OFF!

Just a breather....

1.The person who tag/pass you is? Amirah
2. Your relationship with him/her is? A very good friend
3. Your five impressions of him/her? Highly non-discreet, sweet, easily amused, pretty, great singer!
4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for you? Hmm...lol...i dunno...oops!
5. The most memorable thing he/she had said to you? This aint pertaining to me..but..''He's s cute!''-cant forget it coz she always says it!!!!!!
6. If he/she becomes your lover you will? heheheh...i aint thinking of becuming lesbian..hahah..but if i were a guy, i wld be quite proud to be seen with her..hahaha
7. If he/she becomes your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be? stop saying she dusnt like this and that smell wen i am eating..and also stop smelling other guys! hahahah
8. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will? I really try not to have enemies..hahah...ignore her i guess...
9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be? She betrayed my trust or lied to me.
10. The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is? Erase the fact that she EVER met a certain fox.
11. Your overall impression of him/her is? Talented.
12. How you think people around you will feel about you? Random and unpredictable....
13. The characteristics you love of yourself are? My ability to rebound from hurts and give pple a second chance.
14. The most ideal person you want to be is? Moi..hhaa...there can never be another Yvonne Suvitha Selvadurai aka sumi aka peach
15. For people that care and like you, say something to them? haha..tell me if u do k..seriously..so that i can appreciate u pple...and i luv u too! really really from the bottom of my heart...:)
16. Pass this quiz to 10 persons.
Hmmm....
1)Vaishnavi Mohanasundram
2)Vithiiya G
3) Rajesh
4) Jeevika
5) Vathany
6)Clarisa
7)Shirlyn Toh
8)Thendral
9) Haslina
10) HEHEHEHE...DUN KILL ME FOR THIS-MOUNTAIN! HAHAHA

17. Who is no. 6 having relationship with? hehe..she aint attached..but i am actually surprised cuz shes super sweet!
18. Is no.9 a male or female? Female
19. If number 7. and 10 are together, will it be a good thing? NO! I will probably kill no.7..hahah
20. What is no.2 studying about? errr....shes studying herself i think..hahha....
21. When was the last time you had a chat with no.3? just 5 mins ago..hahah
22. What kind of music band does no. 8 like? DAPPANGKUTHU! hahha...i dunno la...anjac one maybe...hehe..GOYANG GOYANG?
23. Does no.1 have any siblings? Yep. A younger brother studying in VS.
24. Will you woo no.3? EWWW!!!!!NO!! no offence...but hes a brother to me!
25. How about number 7? Great! I declare that I am not a lesbian and I do not plan to woo females....actually, i just aint the wooing type ..haha
26. Is no. 4 single? Yep. She is.
27. What is the surname of no.5? Raveentharan(may have spelt it wrongly)
28. What's the hobby of no.10? hehe..gosh..i really dunno..listening to music and dancing i guess...
29. Does no.5 and 9 get along well? Yep yep. Very well.haah
30. Where is no.2 studying at? Anderson JC
31. Talk something casually about no.1? Shes not just a regular fren...Shes sumone difficult to get to know but once you have, you won't want to lose her:)
32. Have you tried developing feelings for no.6? NO! I repeat again! I DO NOT have lesbian tendencies
33. Where does no.9 live at? Toa Payoh
34. What colour does no.4 like? wait, i ask her...BLACK!
35. Are no.5 and 1 best friends? Nopes..not best..but they do know each other...
36. Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world? hehe...sorry but no...shes got other good stuff abt her:)
37. What is no.6 doing now? i dunno..shes usually online..

A crazy weekend

hmm..okay...just abt Friday...

i am a dumdum..i was telling myself that bowling is the least strenous..haha

WAT A MISCONCEPTION!

lifting heavy balls is far from easy..and swinging them with sufficient power requires more than just the effort of your hands...

haha..anyways, i kinda suck at bowling..haha...

i cld slide my foot...but i would lose the rythm and my bowling would just push the ball to the gutter..so sad..

i was doing ok..then dunno wat happened..haha..

but it was hilarious because we were motivating each other by shouting out certain...err...names of special pple..haha..

and Amirah was asked to join the school bowling team..wow...somebodys got talent eh...*winks*

so i returned to sch with my left leg hurting so much...my muscels were really aching..Amma picked me up and we went to church..haa..i looked more dumpy than usual that day...


went to sleep at night with aches ad pains all over...

next day, Saturday:

went to church at abt 11 to prepare for Sunday..I ended up pasting and cutting all the scorecards, station labels, and the different cards..talk abt HARD WORK!

haha...after that went 7-eleven with Clarisa for a little while and returned to church for dance practice..

haha...we did some diffrent exercises..but thats wats great abt drama- doing stuff out of the norm..

then went to serangoon mrt station with Janice and there Aunty Catherine picked me up with Amma..we headed to Aunty Gek's hse...

ate alot..had some wonderful chocolate cake..and then played arnd a little with the kids..i learnt a new game!

went home tired and sweaty..Anna picked up Appa frm the bus station and Appa was glad to see me..:) ahah..it was sweet.. and Amma was like 'Waaah,...never see for so long ah..only for a few days wat.'

Wat can I say.. Appa loves me:)

And today, somebody said Anna really loves me lots:)

and I am sure Amma loves me too...:)

I love you pple too! Aww...I feel so lovey now..I wanna give hugs! haha...

Will u be lucky enough to get one frm me?*winks*

''You are special''

today was tiring! lol....but quite fun..

served for both services for ekids today for the special childens' day program..

and all the teachers were surprisingly super high for the 2nd service praise although we didnt even eat! haha.....jumping arnd like beans...haha....*boing boing*

and we watched the 'You are Special' video...and God spoke to me through that...and i cldnt stop the tears from welling up in my eyes.

just yest, sumbody i love very much said sumthing abt me that broke my heart..and i really wished i wasnt like how i was..that i cld be like others...

and that was kinda how that wooden Ponchinello character in the video was...he had been marred by the many negative opinions of others...

but his maker, the wood craftsman Eli loved him because he was His.

and I knew and knew in my heart that God was telling me the same thing.
It will take time but I think God's just calling me back to Him..its been some time since I've really spent time in His presence alone..I don't exactly know why..but I opened the bible on Friday and the pages fell to the passage about the Samaritan woman..

In that story, Jesus tells the Samaritan woman:

''Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I will give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.''

And today in the 5pm service, there was a word to loook for the source of the river-Jesus.

I am soooo thankful to God that Hes spoken to me..and lately I've just gotten too caught up with TOO much stuff arnd me...I've let my eyes shift from God...and I've allowed the things others say matter TOO much to me.. but like the song in the cartoon today:

''Nobody can be who you are''

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH JESUS!!!AND I KNOW U LOVE ME TOO:))